Hello October!!!
As most of us know October as breast cancer awareness month. This month has been very near and dear to my heart since I lost a very special Aunt on my mom's side to breast cancer. I absolutely believe it is important for ladies to check themselves regularly, and getting yearly mammograms once they are needed.
What most people did not know, (even myself)......October is also National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I actually had no clue this even existed until last year. I noticed a friend on Facebook post a picture of her 3 lighted candles in memory of her 3 miscarriages. Which brings me to my story. (This is not a easy story to share... so here goes)
Once my husband and I decided we were ready to expand our family. I figured no sweat, I would get pregnant. 9 months later we would have a baby. Not exactly how it went down....
We started trying in the fall because of course 9 months would put us having the baby during the summer. As a coach's wife, everything from vacations, weddings, and babies are planned during the off season summer months. After the second month of trying. We were pregnant. We couldn't believe it happened so quick! We were beyond excited, but knew it was best to wait to tell everyone. But of course we had to shared the news with our parents. I made my first appointment for around 8 weeks. At the time, I was about 6. A week went by and something wasn't right, I immediately went to the doctor. They did a ultrasound, everything checked out ok, but it was super early in the pregnancy. The next day I ended up miscarrying. I was crushed.
If there is ever a time to test not only your relationship with your spouse, but your relationship with God. This was it. And come to find out it was only the beginning. I had never lost sight of my relationship with God, but I definitely had some reorganizing to do when it came to my priorities. Our lives were not center around him, as they should have been.
Recovery time physically, emotionally, and spiritually took awhile. We were in the thick of a serious football season. There was talk about possibly going to the Sugar Bowl. So we felt it was best to take a break and wait. We enjoyed the holiday season in New Orleans with our football family, and a glorious win to top it off. This took my mind off what had happened, and made it easier to look forward to trying again after the new year.
Shortly after we began trying again, we were pregnant. Everything about it was different from the get go. Not even a week after we found out, we miscarried again. 2 Wow! This is when I really started to question everything, "Is there something wrong with me?" "Is God trying to punish me?" "Why me?" I talked with my doctors, and they felt it was time to take a different approach, and began watching me more closely. (This is very normal since they do not consider you high risk till after multiple miscarriages). We knew it would not be too long before we would try again so, the doctors ran a few test, and told us to immediately come back once we have our next positive pregnancy test.
At that time our neighbors, who were so sweet, invited us to their church for Easter. My husband, family, and friends were fantastic to provide so much support, love, and encouragement. But I still felt my relationship with God needed some work. I wanted a church to celebrate, learn, and pray. I knew God was no doubt working in our lives.
At that time, I also decided this would be a great time to train for my first half marathon. My husband and I registered for our first, and began training. Even though we registered for our first half together... there was no way we were running it together. LOL He is so much faster than me, it was best for us to provide moral support for each other from a far. Running can be so therapeutic. It helped focus my mind elsewhere at a time when I needed it most. Plus, this gave me a tangible goal to accomplish. I did not go it totally alone. I found a awesome running buddy who helped me out on the long runs. We ended up running the entire race, and finished a little after 2 hours. Which was my goal. Slow and steady, said the turtle. :)
Summer finally rolled around, and we were pregnant the 3rd time. This was in June. We began seeing the doctor immediately. They tested and monitored levels several times, then did early ultrasounds. Everything checked out, and at 7 weeks we heard the heart beat. This was the longest we had been. We were so thrilled. I was taking progesterone and baby aspirin everyday, along with my prenatal vitamins. At our next appt, which was 10 weeks, there was no heartbeat. They said that I would for sure miscarry soon, and I did. This was the day before the 4th of July. .
After the last miscarriage, I didn't think I would be able to go on. I wanted to crawl into a hole, stay, and never to come out again. The last miscarriage was about all I could take. The emotional toll for each one was too much, and I didn't think I could do it to myself again. The husband and I decided it was time to see a fertility specialist. Test were ran, and everything came back NORMAL.... Nothing, nada.... Chalking it up to just really bad luck.
During this time, I looked for any support groups I could find. Not that my husband, family, or friends were not enough. I just needed someone that I could talk with, relate too, and could understand EXACTLY how I felt.
There was a support group offered through the hospital, but I was too chicken to go.... I just needed to talk to someone who understood. But, I was too scared to talk about my story. Who would want to hear it.....
There was no doubt God was continuing to work in our life. He put these awesome ladies, that I am truly gratefully for everyday of my life. They shared their stories and struggles with me. No ones story was the same, but the struggles and emotional roller-coaster rides were. I began not hiding the fact I had 3 miscarriages, the more I talked about it and shared my story. The more I found out that other women had experienced their own struggles. Again, not the same. But still I could relate. Shortly after our test came back, and we got the ok. We were pregnant AGAIN with our 4th. 9 months later, in June (almost exactly a year later), we welcomed our precious 9 lb 10 oz baby boy into the world.
So.....GOD HAS A PLAN! YOU HAVE TO TRUST IN HIS PLAN! It may not be the way you had envisioned it, but it is a part of HIS plan. As much as we want to have control over our lives, we have to remember we are not in control of it. It may feel like it is you driving the car, but it is HIM. You have to give it over to GOD, and know that everything will work out.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on our own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3: 5&6
So take a minute, celebrate the pink! But add a little blue. And remember all those mommies and daddies with their babies here on earth, and in heaven! Don't be afraid to share your story. You maybe surprised, some may have been though so much more. You can always provide support, even if it just means listening and comforting a friend.
Next post....
How did I stay fit after 3 miscarriages, with limited physical activity during my pregnancy? Very carefully!
I will be sharing my prenatal fitness journey next!
Till then ;)
Shannon
As most of us know October as breast cancer awareness month. This month has been very near and dear to my heart since I lost a very special Aunt on my mom's side to breast cancer. I absolutely believe it is important for ladies to check themselves regularly, and getting yearly mammograms once they are needed.
What most people did not know, (even myself)......October is also National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I actually had no clue this even existed until last year. I noticed a friend on Facebook post a picture of her 3 lighted candles in memory of her 3 miscarriages. Which brings me to my story. (This is not a easy story to share... so here goes)
Once my husband and I decided we were ready to expand our family. I figured no sweat, I would get pregnant. 9 months later we would have a baby. Not exactly how it went down....
We started trying in the fall because of course 9 months would put us having the baby during the summer. As a coach's wife, everything from vacations, weddings, and babies are planned during the off season summer months. After the second month of trying. We were pregnant. We couldn't believe it happened so quick! We were beyond excited, but knew it was best to wait to tell everyone. But of course we had to shared the news with our parents. I made my first appointment for around 8 weeks. At the time, I was about 6. A week went by and something wasn't right, I immediately went to the doctor. They did a ultrasound, everything checked out ok, but it was super early in the pregnancy. The next day I ended up miscarrying. I was crushed.
If there is ever a time to test not only your relationship with your spouse, but your relationship with God. This was it. And come to find out it was only the beginning. I had never lost sight of my relationship with God, but I definitely had some reorganizing to do when it came to my priorities. Our lives were not center around him, as they should have been.
Recovery time physically, emotionally, and spiritually took awhile. We were in the thick of a serious football season. There was talk about possibly going to the Sugar Bowl. So we felt it was best to take a break and wait. We enjoyed the holiday season in New Orleans with our football family, and a glorious win to top it off. This took my mind off what had happened, and made it easier to look forward to trying again after the new year.
Shortly after we began trying again, we were pregnant. Everything about it was different from the get go. Not even a week after we found out, we miscarried again. 2 Wow! This is when I really started to question everything, "Is there something wrong with me?" "Is God trying to punish me?" "Why me?" I talked with my doctors, and they felt it was time to take a different approach, and began watching me more closely. (This is very normal since they do not consider you high risk till after multiple miscarriages). We knew it would not be too long before we would try again so, the doctors ran a few test, and told us to immediately come back once we have our next positive pregnancy test.
At that time our neighbors, who were so sweet, invited us to their church for Easter. My husband, family, and friends were fantastic to provide so much support, love, and encouragement. But I still felt my relationship with God needed some work. I wanted a church to celebrate, learn, and pray. I knew God was no doubt working in our lives.
At that time, I also decided this would be a great time to train for my first half marathon. My husband and I registered for our first, and began training. Even though we registered for our first half together... there was no way we were running it together. LOL He is so much faster than me, it was best for us to provide moral support for each other from a far. Running can be so therapeutic. It helped focus my mind elsewhere at a time when I needed it most. Plus, this gave me a tangible goal to accomplish. I did not go it totally alone. I found a awesome running buddy who helped me out on the long runs. We ended up running the entire race, and finished a little after 2 hours. Which was my goal. Slow and steady, said the turtle. :)
Summer finally rolled around, and we were pregnant the 3rd time. This was in June. We began seeing the doctor immediately. They tested and monitored levels several times, then did early ultrasounds. Everything checked out, and at 7 weeks we heard the heart beat. This was the longest we had been. We were so thrilled. I was taking progesterone and baby aspirin everyday, along with my prenatal vitamins. At our next appt, which was 10 weeks, there was no heartbeat. They said that I would for sure miscarry soon, and I did. This was the day before the 4th of July. .
After the last miscarriage, I didn't think I would be able to go on. I wanted to crawl into a hole, stay, and never to come out again. The last miscarriage was about all I could take. The emotional toll for each one was too much, and I didn't think I could do it to myself again. The husband and I decided it was time to see a fertility specialist. Test were ran, and everything came back NORMAL.... Nothing, nada.... Chalking it up to just really bad luck.
During this time, I looked for any support groups I could find. Not that my husband, family, or friends were not enough. I just needed someone that I could talk with, relate too, and could understand EXACTLY how I felt.
There was a support group offered through the hospital, but I was too chicken to go.... I just needed to talk to someone who understood. But, I was too scared to talk about my story. Who would want to hear it.....
There was no doubt God was continuing to work in our life. He put these awesome ladies, that I am truly gratefully for everyday of my life. They shared their stories and struggles with me. No ones story was the same, but the struggles and emotional roller-coaster rides were. I began not hiding the fact I had 3 miscarriages, the more I talked about it and shared my story. The more I found out that other women had experienced their own struggles. Again, not the same. But still I could relate. Shortly after our test came back, and we got the ok. We were pregnant AGAIN with our 4th. 9 months later, in June (almost exactly a year later), we welcomed our precious 9 lb 10 oz baby boy into the world.
So.....GOD HAS A PLAN! YOU HAVE TO TRUST IN HIS PLAN! It may not be the way you had envisioned it, but it is a part of HIS plan. As much as we want to have control over our lives, we have to remember we are not in control of it. It may feel like it is you driving the car, but it is HIM. You have to give it over to GOD, and know that everything will work out.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on our own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3: 5&6
So take a minute, celebrate the pink! But add a little blue. And remember all those mommies and daddies with their babies here on earth, and in heaven! Don't be afraid to share your story. You maybe surprised, some may have been though so much more. You can always provide support, even if it just means listening and comforting a friend.
Next post....
How did I stay fit after 3 miscarriages, with limited physical activity during my pregnancy? Very carefully!
I will be sharing my prenatal fitness journey next!
Till then ;)
Shannon